Jesus' Surprising Grievance Policy
Matthew 18:15-20
Today we are looking at the Church’s grievance policy! And that might sound very contemporary, risk averse and dry.
But the astonishing thing is that Jesus gave his followers a grievance policy 2000 years ago – and modern organisations could do far worse than making Matthew 18 the basis of their policy.
There are a number of challenging elements to what Jesus says.
1. We are part of a recognisable community of believers, with real bonds, responsibilities and boundaries. Our reading speaks of being a ‘member’ of the people of God. The Greek speaks of being a ‘brother’ or a ‘sister’ within the Christian community. It is a family term
We are not simply isolated individuals who happen to believe similar things. we are brothers and sisters who belong to one another.
Jesus Christ is for everyone. The Church is open to everyone. To become part of the family of God is not to do anything – it is not to pay a subscription, it is not to pass a test – but it is to be willing to put our trust in Jesus and to receive. To receive the love of God and the gift of forgiveness (that implies recognising that we are broken, sinners, in need of God), to receive a relationship with Jesus Christ the Son of God, and to recognise that we are part of one family.
I often point out that the only ritual Jesus asks of the person wishing to become part of and live within the family of God is to receive baptism and have someone throw water over you in the name of Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
There are those who are in and those who are out. But again, I note, that the members of the church exist for the non-members. We are here to serve the eternal best of those who are non-members (the ‘tax-collectors and Gentiles’), and that includes inviting them to receive the gift, the grace of God.
2. The purpose of Jesus’ grievance and discipline policy is not to punish the offender. It is not to get revenge, whether financial or to see them suffer. It is not about asserting my rights, proving to them that I cannot be treated like that and that I matter. Indeed, Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:7, ‘To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded?’
No, the purpose of Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 18 is very simple. It is ‘to regain the one who has sinned against you’.
The purpose is for their good, for their eternal good, to keep them within the community of the people of God. Yes, there is a deep commitment that the church of God is holy, and that the people of God will seek to live holy lives, but in this case Jesus’ grievance policy is not for the sake of the person offended, but the person who offends.
3. The process is not bureaucratic but relational. It is personal.
We do not first talk about the person who has offended us. We talk, where possible, to them. ‘Go and point this out to them’.
Obviously, I am not talking here about cases where someone is a threat or danger to you. On those occasions you do need to talk to others, and probably to the authorities.
But in the case of ordinary wrongs and misunderstandings, - someone lying to us, speaking against us, taking advantage of us, or treating us thoughtlessly, where it is safe and possible, we need to talk with them, rather than about them.
It may well be that they were not aware, or they were having a bad day, and hopefully they will just say ‘Sorry’. Which means that they recognise that they did not treat you right
It is initially personal. But it is also about truth.
Before we challenge someone, we do need to examine ourselves. Did it happen? What is my motive (of course, none of us can really answer that question)? Am I being hypersensitive? Have I contributed to this?
But if the person does not listen, that is when we call in two or three witnesses to our conversation with them. That comes from Deuteronomy 19:15 (which states that nobody can be prosecuted without the evidence of two or three witnesses). And that is good for both the person being challenged and yourself. They are not simply reinforcements for our side. They can listen to both people, establish the truth and help you seek reconciliation.
4. I notice that the ultimate grounds for exclusion of the offending member are not the original offence.
The original offence matters. But what makes continued fellowship impossible is not human imperfection, but a person’s persistent refusal to listen, acknowledge the wrong and turn back.
The words ‘refusal to listen’ appear twice in our text and are implied a third time.
They will not listen to you, refuse to listen to the two or three and refuse to listen to the church.
That listening to the other is critical.
Proverbs 13:1, ‘A wise child loves discipline. But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke’.
Or Proverbs 15:31: “The ear that heeds wholesome admonition will lodge among the wise.”
The willingness to listen to another, to really listen to them, especially if they feel hurt by us, is an attitude which the Holy Spirit will burn into the spiritual DNA of a believer.
And if we are followers of the Lord Jesus Christ we really will want to change and become like him. And that means listening to others.
If there is the refusal to listen or to change, then we really need to examine whether we have opened ourselves to receive the love of God.
Or as one of the desert fathers said, ‘Teach your mouth to say, ‘Forgive me’, and humility will descend on you’.
Nobody is asking anyone to be perfect. We will offend and hurt each other. But we are asked to be open to listen – and to say sorry.
And I guess that makes sense. We cannot have fellowship with others if they refuse to listen to us.
5. This makes sense of the loosing and the binding.
“Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” Matthew 18:18
Binding and loosing were terms used for authoritative judgement: declaring what was forbidden or permitted, and here deciding whether fellowship has been broken or restored.
This teaching has, of course, led to people doing terrible things in the name of Jesus, and claiming divine authority for what they are doing Рeven to the extent of crusades, the massacre of communities (I have just been reading through Dominion by Tom Holland, where he speaks of a Papal legate justifying the massacre of the inhabitants of B̩ziers in 1209 for supporting heretics Рa precedent that was used in later centuries), or lying, theft or murder, and then justifying it by saying that it was for the good of the Church.
It does not give the Church permission to call its own prejudices the will of God. It is a terrifying responsibility to discern on earth what accords with the judgement of heaven. The Church has authority only as it gathers in Christ’s name, listens to the Scriptures, to how believers have understood those scriptures for the last 2000 years, and to the Holy Spirit. And his purpose is not vengeance but restoration.
And even then, we need to be open to the possibility that we have got it wrong.
It was Hooker's (the author of Ecclesiastical Polity in the C16th which is one of the Church of England’s foundational documents) great grievance against some of the Puritans. He wrote - and this is in modern language:
“Remember that you are human and may be mistaken. Examine yourself honestly: are your convictions really produced by reason, or by the strength of your feelings? If the truth proves you wrong, regard being overcome by it as your greatest victory.”
So Jesus’ grievance and discipline policy. Its purpose is to ‘regain the other’. It is personal and not bureaucratic. It is rooted in the truth. The main offence that a believer can commit, that will lead to exclusion from the community, ‘is the refusal to listen’, and the decision of the people of God has a divine authority.
One final thing that I notice. To be excluded from the community in practice came to mean that they cannot receive the bread and wine, and they cannot be considered a believer in the Lord Jesus.
But they are not to be hated, humiliated or ‘sent to Coventry’. We do not give them the silent treatment or cease to care about them. Jesus says that they are ‘to be to you as a Gentile and tax-collector’.
The one who said that ‘sat and ate with tax collectors and sinners’. He died for tax collectors and sinners. He came and gave his life for them, for you and for me.
Today we are looking at the Church’s grievance policy! And that might sound very contemporary, risk averse and dry.
But the astonishing thing is that Jesus gave his followers a grievance policy 2000 years ago – and modern organisations could do far worse than making Matthew 18 the basis of their policy.
There are a number of challenging elements to what Jesus says.
1. We are part of a recognisable community of believers, with real bonds, responsibilities and boundaries. Our reading speaks of being a ‘member’ of the people of God. The Greek speaks of being a ‘brother’ or a ‘sister’ within the Christian community. It is a family term
We are not simply isolated individuals who happen to believe similar things. we are brothers and sisters who belong to one another.
Jesus Christ is for everyone. The Church is open to everyone. To become part of the family of God is not to do anything – it is not to pay a subscription, it is not to pass a test – but it is to be willing to put our trust in Jesus and to receive. To receive the love of God and the gift of forgiveness (that implies recognising that we are broken, sinners, in need of God), to receive a relationship with Jesus Christ the Son of God, and to recognise that we are part of one family.
I often point out that the only ritual Jesus asks of the person wishing to become part of and live within the family of God is to receive baptism and have someone throw water over you in the name of Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
There are those who are in and those who are out. But again, I note, that the members of the church exist for the non-members. We are here to serve the eternal best of those who are non-members (the ‘tax-collectors and Gentiles’), and that includes inviting them to receive the gift, the grace of God.
2. The purpose of Jesus’ grievance and discipline policy is not to punish the offender. It is not to get revenge, whether financial or to see them suffer. It is not about asserting my rights, proving to them that I cannot be treated like that and that I matter. Indeed, Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:7, ‘To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded?’
No, the purpose of Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 18 is very simple. It is ‘to regain the one who has sinned against you’.
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'If the member listens to you, you have regained that one'. Matthew 18:15 The reconciliation of Esau and Jacob. Image taken from f. 4v of Haggadah for Passover (the 'Golden Haggadah''). France c1200-1400 National Library of the Netherlands |
The purpose is for their good, for their eternal good, to keep them within the community of the people of God. Yes, there is a deep commitment that the church of God is holy, and that the people of God will seek to live holy lives, but in this case Jesus’ grievance policy is not for the sake of the person offended, but the person who offends.
3. The process is not bureaucratic but relational. It is personal.
We do not first talk about the person who has offended us. We talk, where possible, to them. ‘Go and point this out to them’.
Obviously, I am not talking here about cases where someone is a threat or danger to you. On those occasions you do need to talk to others, and probably to the authorities.
But in the case of ordinary wrongs and misunderstandings, - someone lying to us, speaking against us, taking advantage of us, or treating us thoughtlessly, where it is safe and possible, we need to talk with them, rather than about them.
It may well be that they were not aware, or they were having a bad day, and hopefully they will just say ‘Sorry’. Which means that they recognise that they did not treat you right
It is initially personal. But it is also about truth.
Before we challenge someone, we do need to examine ourselves. Did it happen? What is my motive (of course, none of us can really answer that question)? Am I being hypersensitive? Have I contributed to this?
But if the person does not listen, that is when we call in two or three witnesses to our conversation with them. That comes from Deuteronomy 19:15 (which states that nobody can be prosecuted without the evidence of two or three witnesses). And that is good for both the person being challenged and yourself. They are not simply reinforcements for our side. They can listen to both people, establish the truth and help you seek reconciliation.
4. I notice that the ultimate grounds for exclusion of the offending member are not the original offence.
The original offence matters. But what makes continued fellowship impossible is not human imperfection, but a person’s persistent refusal to listen, acknowledge the wrong and turn back.
The words ‘refusal to listen’ appear twice in our text and are implied a third time.
They will not listen to you, refuse to listen to the two or three and refuse to listen to the church.
That listening to the other is critical.
Proverbs 13:1, ‘A wise child loves discipline. But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke’.
Or Proverbs 15:31: “The ear that heeds wholesome admonition will lodge among the wise.”
The willingness to listen to another, to really listen to them, especially if they feel hurt by us, is an attitude which the Holy Spirit will burn into the spiritual DNA of a believer.
And if we are followers of the Lord Jesus Christ we really will want to change and become like him. And that means listening to others.
If there is the refusal to listen or to change, then we really need to examine whether we have opened ourselves to receive the love of God.
Or as one of the desert fathers said, ‘Teach your mouth to say, ‘Forgive me’, and humility will descend on you’.
Nobody is asking anyone to be perfect. We will offend and hurt each other. But we are asked to be open to listen – and to say sorry.
And I guess that makes sense. We cannot have fellowship with others if they refuse to listen to us.
5. This makes sense of the loosing and the binding.
“Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” Matthew 18:18
Binding and loosing were terms used for authoritative judgement: declaring what was forbidden or permitted, and here deciding whether fellowship has been broken or restored.
This teaching has, of course, led to people doing terrible things in the name of Jesus, and claiming divine authority for what they are doing Рeven to the extent of crusades, the massacre of communities (I have just been reading through Dominion by Tom Holland, where he speaks of a Papal legate justifying the massacre of the inhabitants of B̩ziers in 1209 for supporting heretics Рa precedent that was used in later centuries), or lying, theft or murder, and then justifying it by saying that it was for the good of the Church.
It does not give the Church permission to call its own prejudices the will of God. It is a terrifying responsibility to discern on earth what accords with the judgement of heaven. The Church has authority only as it gathers in Christ’s name, listens to the Scriptures, to how believers have understood those scriptures for the last 2000 years, and to the Holy Spirit. And his purpose is not vengeance but restoration.
And even then, we need to be open to the possibility that we have got it wrong.
It was Hooker's (the author of Ecclesiastical Polity in the C16th which is one of the Church of England’s foundational documents) great grievance against some of the Puritans. He wrote - and this is in modern language:
“Remember that you are human and may be mistaken. Examine yourself honestly: are your convictions really produced by reason, or by the strength of your feelings? If the truth proves you wrong, regard being overcome by it as your greatest victory.”
So Jesus’ grievance and discipline policy. Its purpose is to ‘regain the other’. It is personal and not bureaucratic. It is rooted in the truth. The main offence that a believer can commit, that will lead to exclusion from the community, ‘is the refusal to listen’, and the decision of the people of God has a divine authority.
One final thing that I notice. To be excluded from the community in practice came to mean that they cannot receive the bread and wine, and they cannot be considered a believer in the Lord Jesus.
But they are not to be hated, humiliated or ‘sent to Coventry’. We do not give them the silent treatment or cease to care about them. Jesus says that they are ‘to be to you as a Gentile and tax-collector’.
The one who said that ‘sat and ate with tax collectors and sinners’. He died for tax collectors and sinners. He came and gave his life for them, for you and for me.
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