I've had one of
those weeks when I've decided that I don't really like myself.
Now please
don't get too anxious. I'm not dropping into the self-loathing pit, the
'everybody hates me, nobody likes me, I'm going to go and eat worms' syndrome.
That is one of the excuses that people give to avoid the claims of Christianity: "It is all about sin and feeling worthless".
I had read something earlier
written by St Augustine
And the reason that I do
loving and kind things is not because I am loving or kind, but because I want
people to love me and respect me. I am really no better than the man or woman
who does lousy things in order to get others to respect them or love them, or
the person who couldn't care less what other people think of them, and so does
nothing for anyone. And I don't like it, and I really don't like when it
becomes very obvious to me (and probably obvious to others) that I am being
driven by the motive to make others love me or respect me. I don't like it, and
I don't like me.
You see whichever generation we are, there is a universal condition that we suffer from. It is called sin. It is when the I is the centre. There is an old word for sin, iniquity: it has 3 'i's' in it. We have iPads, iPhones, iPods, iTunes. They and we are driven by the iMotive.
So what is the answer?
Some might say: 'Why
are you getting so worked up? There are other people who are far worse than
you'
Others might say: 'I know the angst. Basically you either slit your
throat or you blame them for putting unreasonable expectations on you'.
And yet others might say: 'It's OK to be iCentred. What's the problem. The
world is about you.'
When we were on
the march of witness on Good Friday, there was a mobile photo shop in the arc.
It had this advert: 'The most important story ever told - yours', which I thought was
quite ironic given that 600 people had gathered to celebrate the death and resurrection
of Jesus Christ.
But actually the bible is far
more helpful. Because I do not want to be told that I am OK when I know that I
am not OK. I don't wish to be told that the strategies that I employ to make
people love me and respect me are working, because it simply means I will carry
on doing the same thing. I don't wish to be told that there are people who are
worse than me, because all that is doing is making me look down on others.
And the reason
that the bible is far more helpful is because it does not sweep the issue under
the carpet. And I'm looking here specifically at 1 John 3:1-7
1. It shows us
that there is a different way to live.
There is a bit here about divine sovereignty and revelation.
There are some who look at Jesus and think, 'Yes, everything about this man is right. Here is someone who does not live the iLife but the godLife and this really is the right way to live'. And there are some who are completely blind to Jesus, who do not, to use John's words, 'know Jesus'.
And here we get our first encouragement.J ohn is saying that if we look at Jesus, and we realise that here is someone who is righteous, and someone who does righteous things, then we are on the road to discovering a new life.
Now I am assuming that you know something about Jesus, that you know the story, or at least a bit of it. If you don't know about Jesus then I urge you to get to know about him. If you know a bit, then get to know some more. Many of us who come to church don't actually know the basic stories. Come to the Introducing Jesus course; ask a Christian friend to meet with you and go through one of the stories about Jesus in the bible. Learn about him. If there is nothing else, pick up one of your children's bibles and read the stories again. Visit www.rejesus.co.uk Learn what he actually said, taught and did.
Jesus was righteous. Not just
in what he did, but at his very heart. He did not do loving and kind things
because he wanted people to love him or fear him. Jesus did loving and kind
things because his heart beat and God's heart beat were one and the same. He
was a human being just like you or me, but he was also filled with God. At the
centre of Jesus was not Jesus, but an overwhelming assurance of being the Son
of his loving Father God.
And John says in 2:29, 'If
you know that he (Jesus) is righteous - if you know that he lived and he lives
the really good life, the iDenying, God-centred, divinely-human life, and if
you see someone beginning to live like that - then you know that they have been
born of God'.
There really is a different
way to live
2. The bible
tells me that I can start again.
People get hung
up about the phrase born-again Christian.
You don't need to. What it
means is that these are people who have begun again.
The astonishing gift that God
offers to each one of us is that we can begin again. We can quite literally die
to our old way of life, and become a new person together with him.
That is what baptism
symbolises: the old life is washed away - or, and it is much more dramatic when
people are baptised by full immersion, you go down under the water, you die to
your old self, and you to come up again as a new person.
Baptism, being born again, is
for those people who have looked at Jesus and who know that they are lost, and
can see the difference between the iLife and the godLife, and who so dislike
themselves and the old life that they are prepared to die in order to come
alive to a new life.
And the verse before our
reading and the verse a couple after our reading talk of 'being born of God',
being born again. Born not just of flesh and blood, but born of the Spirit of
God.
And when we are born again,
God takes out the old me centre of my life (elsewhere the bible talks about it
as a heart of stone), and puts in its place a new God-centre for our lives. No
longer do we need to be controlled by the iLife but by the new spiritLife,
godLife.
3. The bible
tells me that this new birth makes a real difference in our lives.
We will begin
to change.
v6: 'No one who abides in him
keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known
him'.
Now this verse is not saying
that a born again Christian is going to be perfect. John has already said in
1:8, 'If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in
us'.
But the key words in v6 are
the words 'keep on' sinning. If a person has truly been born again then there
will be change. That person will begin to become aware of what it really means
to live a righteous life, a God-centred, Jesus-like life. They will begin to
become aware of how far they fall short of that.
Many people speak of a
growing awareness of their sinfulness as they grow as Christians.
So although I have decided
that I do not like myself this week, I am actually quite encouraged. Because I
think I am beginning to hate in myself what I should be hating in myself. And
if you start to hate something that you are doing that you know is making you
less like Jesus rather than more like Jesus; or if you find that you are saying
sorry for something and then doing it again, and you hate it, then be
encouraged. You are hating what is already dead in you. The Spirit is at work
in you. Persist. Give it time. And there will be change.
I remember one older man, not
here. He was a Christian, but he was very legalistic and quite judgemental.
After all, he had survived and done OK, so why couldn't others? I did not even
conceive of the possibility that he would change. And then he asked to see me.
His son, who was a teacher, had been arrested and had been charged with the
serial abuse of children (he was subsequently found guilty and sent to prison).
I thought that would destroy any relationship the father had with his son, that
he would never want to see him again. I thought that it would destroy him. But
I was completely wrong. I spent quite a lot of time with him and his wife. And
I saw an astonishing change. He hated what his son had done, but he still loved
his son as a father. He wrote to his son, he visited his son and when his son
came out of prison - and, as you will realise, his son was now a complete leper, an untouchable as
far as society was concerned, they let him come and live with them. But what I
found even more astonishing was that he never tried to justify his son, he
never made excuses for his son but he still
treated his son as his son. And I saw that man grow, at the age of 80 plus, in
astonishing grace: not just toward his son, but towards others - a deep
compassion for the victims of his son, along with a deep compassion for other
victims and for other offenders, and for other sinners.
And this passage tells us
that God will not finish working with us until we see his son Jesus face to
face: 'What we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears
[that is talking about the time when Jesus returns at the end of space and time
as we know it, and there is the general resurrection of the dead] we shall be
like him, because we shall see him as he is'. (1 John 3:2 )
CS Lewis reminds us of what
we are to become. "It is a serious thing to ... remember that the dullest
and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if
you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship..." . (The Weight
of Glory)
And he goes on to say, in
Mere Christianity (p174f), "(God) said that we were “gods” [John 10:35 ] and He
is going to make good His words. If we let Him - for we can prevent Him if we choose
- He will make the feeblest and filthiest of us into a .. dazzling, radiant,
immortal creature, pulsating all through with such energy and joy and wisdom
and love as we cannot now imagine, a bright stainless mirror which reflects
back to God perfectly (though, of course, on a smaller scale) His own boundless
power and delight and goodness. The process will be long and in parts very
painful; but that is what we are in for."
4. The bible
tells us that if we are born again, if we have come to Jesus for this new life,
we are deeply beloved children of God
One of the main reasons we try and get people to love and respect us is because we are always looking for that parent figure, that father, to say to us, 'Well done".
But, even though I am, I do not need to be motivated by the desire to get others to love and respect me, because as someone who has died to myself and turned to God I am already deeply beloved by God. "See what kind of love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God" (1 John 3:1 ).
But, even though I am, I do not need to be motivated by the desire to get others to love and respect me, because as someone who has died to myself and turned to God I am already deeply beloved by God. "See what kind of love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God" (
And remember what John wrote
at the beginning of his gospel. He tells us at the beginning of his gospel why
Jesus came: 'He came to his own people, but his own people did not receive him.
But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave them the right
to become children of God' (John 1:12 )
If you have looked in at
yourself and hate your iLife, and if you have looked at Jesus and seen his
godLife, and if you have died to yourself and received Jesus, then you are a
profoundly beloved child of God, a son of God or a daughter of God.
Jim Packer writes, "If
you want to judge how well a person understands Christianity, find out how much
they make of the thought of being God's child, and having God as their Father.
If this is not the thought that prompts and controls their worship and prayers
and their whole outlook on life, it means that they do not understand
Christianity very well at all."
So yes, I
decided that I did not like myself this week. But actually I also realised that
that is rather a good thing. Perhaps I am actually being honest with myself.
And it doesn't matter, because I do long to do the things of Jesus and to live
like him and to be like him, and I have chosen to die to my old iLife (even
though it keeps on pretending to be alive), and he is changing me, and he will
make me like Jesus and I am a deeply profoundly beloved child of God. And I'll
settle for that.
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